Tag Archives: parenting

I might just throw in the towel!

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Oh dear me!

There aren’t sufficient emoticons to convey how I’m feeling today. Suffice it to say that this day takes me back to when I was a working woman (outside the house, that is!) and it took everything within me to not turn in my resignation. Yeah, it was that bad.

Problem is, when you’re a Mom, you can’t just ‘throw in the towel’ much less resign. It’s just not an option. Not unless your new fashion statement is a striped jumpsuit!

All kidding aside, today’s naughtiness ranks at the top of the list, if not garnering first place. Thankfully, up until now anyway, I’ve been able to keep my emotions in check and my voice way below the shouting level. I have to give credit where credit is due, mind you. All the credit for my temper in check goes to the Lord. Honestly.

The naughty streak all began after a morning of fun, even educational games. It was just the two of us playing make believe, watching a couple of his fave TV learning programs, snacks and then…..

  • pump hairspray poured down the commode
  • blue crayon (thankfully it was washable!) drawn all over my dining and kitchen walls
  • chairs from kitchen and dining room moved in such a way to barricade me from coming in the kitchen
  • my kitchen looks like it was hit by an F4 tornado
  • a concoction of dish soap, and a brand new unopened bottle of bath soap with water was poured all over my kitchen table & floor. Oh, and did I mention a little honey?!

Shall I continue? Oh mercy, just re-living this rampage through writing has caused the anger to swell up inside. Amazingly I have remained calm (the Lord’s work). Whenever I start screaming, the behavior only gets worse, if you can believe that. Although I want to throw up my hands and ball up on the floor, crying it out, I know that isn’t the solution. I’m trying to behave as an adult rather than throw a temper tantrum.

Days like today (praise God they are few and far between!) can only be dealt with in much prayer. I’m not saying discipline isn’t in order. It most certainly is and has already been administered, at least half of it (I left the path of destruction for my hubby to find when he comes home), so a second round of discipline will most definitely take place. Ultimately though, I need the Ultimate Father to grant me His wisdom. You might say I’ve pretty well reached the end of myself. I need divine intervention at this point.

It’s days like this that I am thankful for God’s grace, for a new morning and a new chance to make things right. Thankful for prayer where I can pour my heart out to the One who can transform my heart, and that of my child. Thankful that He grants wisdom to those who ask for it. Grateful for life and the gift of a new day!

 

 

 

 

the struggle is real, folks!

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I’ve written previously about my son’s issue with the “big boy potty”. Well, the saga continues….

Pardon me while I vent just a moment. Can I just tell you how disgusted I am by the whole episode? Changing a baby’s diaper is one thing, no matter how bad the blowout might be. However, changing the underpants of a four and a half year old is wearing. me. out. in every way. Just last week, we had no less than 5 pair, if not more, underpants in a bucket outside to be rinsed out so they could make it to the washing machine. Needless to say, keeping up with the laundry is a part-time job.

Okay…stepping off my soapbox now. Be thankful that I “cleaned it up” for you as my emotions tend to run high during such episodes.

Just this past Sunday evening and Monday morning we had a huge party at my house celebrating “the dispatchment” placed in the potty. There were high fives, gifts, snuggles, clapping and hooray-ing!!! Lots of positive affirmation for a job well done. We were so happy and just knew this was the end of our dilemma. May I just tell you that by Tuesday morning, all successes were flushed down the potty. What, you ask? Yep, the potty-in-the-pants started up on Tuesday morning just prior to leaving the house for school. We were so disappointed. Well, accidents do happen, so grace was extended. But, hold the phone! It happened yet again Wednesday morning just as I was finishing my breakfast. Utterly disgusted, he was cleaned up and re-directed to do it in the potty next time.

Why am I sharing this? I heard recently from a behavior management class we’ve been taking since October, that this potty-in-the-pants habit is quite common for boys of this same age. I was shocked! I truly felt as if we were one-in-zillion with this problem. Granted, I’m well aware that our issues could be much, much worse BUT ya’ll it is so disgusting that I can hardly take it anymore.

We’ve read (& watched!) potty books & videos more times than I can count. We’ve rewarded with stickers, toys, candy, treats & the winner-take-all prize: Chuck E Cheese. You would think the boy would be running to the potty to collect on his winnings….WRONG! Both positive affirmation and negative/punishment have been doled out. Taking away toys, tv time, parties, & play dates have yielded nothing. We’ve read parenting book after parenting book on the strong-willed child with no change of behavior.

I would love to hear from you if you’re in a similar battle with your boy or girl. I’m certainly not above trying something new. Let me hear from  you!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

thinking outside the box

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thinking outside the box

While taking just a few minutes to peruse Facebook this morning, I’m saddened to read posts about kids being destructive to others’ property out of sheer boredom this summer.

So, I only have one young one, so I haven’t entered the “Mom, I’m borrrreeeeeddddddd!” syndrome yet uttered from kids’ mouths who are already bored out of their goards this summer. I don’t quite understand how they can be so bored already.

Back in my day” (don’t you get tired of hearing that? LOL!) in the summer time, my sister and I always had plenty to do, my Mom saw to that. We had chores around the house, books to be read, VBS (Vacation Bible School), work in the yard with Dad, pool time & swim lessons, errands with Mom, choir tour & church camp, and trips to visit family. Honestly, there wasn’t time to be bored. If we even gave a hint of naughtiness, we’d have to deal with Dad when he got home and we did NOT want that so we found things to keep us occupied. Of course, we had our friends to spend the night, ride bikes, play outside and just plain ‘ole creativity because video games weren’t quite the rage they are today and smart phones weren’t invented yet.

My point is that we had plenty of constructive activity to keep our brains engaged and  our boredom to a minimum. There wasn’t much time to lounge around and be lazy. We were up at a decent time every morning (My Dad saw to that!) to accomplish our work and errands in the cool of the day, fun was reserved for later in the day. My Mom had us learn at an early age how to clean the house (I’m talking vacuuming, mopping floors, cleaning bathrooms and the like). I’m sure our Mom heard her share of complaints but we learned life lessons of how to work hard, the value of work, as well as earning and saving money since my parents opened savings accounts for us so we could watch our money grow and earn interest.

I hate to admit it, but I believe the downfall in negative behavior due to boredom with school age children lies largely with the parents. Children of this age are old enough to take on responsibility such as a job to earn money for the things they want. Okay, soap box moment: I heard once of a child who wanted his Mom to go back to work so (the kids) could have more money to do and have fun things. WHAT?! I’m sorry, but that is WHACK! Soap box rant over. There are plenty of jobs for kids such as a paper route, babysitting, life-guarding, pet sitting, and lawn mowing are just a few ideas. Learning age old skills such as knitting, crocheting, sewing, and the like are true talents that will serve our kids well. With Pinterest there are plenty of crafty ideas to inspire young minds to be creative, sell their wares and earn money for trips, toiletries, camps, gas, etc.

I believe these simple acts of keeping active minds busy will go a long way toward eradicating the sense of entitlement so many children and teenagers subscribe to. I think the Bible has some things to say along these lines as well:

Proverbs 31:27
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Ecclesiastes 10:18
Through laziness, the rafters sag; because of idle hands, the house leaks.
2 Thessalonians 3:11
We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies.
1 Timothy 5:13 
Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to.

Colossians 3:23                                                                                                                                  Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,…

Call me crazy, but aren’t we raising our children to be adults? On more than one occasion, I have conversed with an adult whose mission is to be the fun, hip parent; they desire to be a friend to their child rather than do the hard work of a parent. They want to be liked, and to them, the approval they seek from their kids trumps the calling on our lives to be parents.
My question to these fine people is: how are you going to equip your child(ren) for the real world when your goal is to be the “cool parent,” the one who dresses immodestly, the one who never disciplines much less sets curfews, or helps them learn life lessons that will prepare them for college and living on their own one day. And most importantly, life preparation without you as their parent, for this is probably the biggest life lesson to be learned. Grooming our children to stand on their own two feet, earning and saving money, value of hard work, cleanliness and learning how to clean house properly are all becoming such a lost art. Break the cycle and do the hard work that goes into parenting and preparing your child to fly the nest, hopefully well before they’re 20.

 

My New Fave

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These days, we have Pinterest to share all our fave things, products, recipes, and the like. I remember when I’d keep a list of all my new fave ideas, thoughts & recipes to share with a friend over dinner. We’d trade ideas and share new insight we’d read. It was a great time of one-on-one fellowship, gathering ideas and of course, eating.

My newest fave thing is reading. Now, I’ve never been one of those voracious readers picking up one new book after another, much less a member of a book club. Lately, however, that has been my thing! A little fiction to break up all the non-fiction. I’ve always been one to read “self-help” type books but at times, they can leave me with a heavy feeling so I started taking up a little fiction, which I used to believe was a total time waster; now, I’ve re-thought that notion.

So, I discovered Overdrive on my Nook and now download books left and right. I’ve always borrowed from the local library and visited their annual book sales. Recently though I’ve discovered, thanks to my husband, half-price bookstores. Of course, I buy and search online from Amazon and other discounted sites, but there is something about the hunt. Time has to be on your side, but venturing into one of those rather large bookstores in search of some of your fave reads can be a rush. I know. I’ve become “one of those”.

Reading has quickly become one of my new favorite past times because it is something I can quickly pick up whenever I have a few free minutes. Whether entertaining or learning, I have found it to be a readily available outlet during this busy season of parenting. “Me Time” is a rare treat and I’m enjoying engaging my mind whenever I can; heaven knows I need it!

I challenge any of you who haven’t been an avid reader, to consider picking up a book now and then and enjoying a little escape from the daily grind. You might just surprise yourself, like me, and become a reader!

**Need some ideas? Head over to my “Resources” pages**

 

My Little Houdini Strikes Again!

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running-316910_1280Now that I’ve made it through a few more days, I feel I am finally able to talk about it….

Yes, I have a 3 yr old ‘Houdini’ on my hands. It’s by no means a new revelation. He, quite simply, has been able to escape out of, well, just about anything restrictive. Let’s just say it causes this Momma plenty of stress and aggravation.

I’ve decided as of this week’s incident, there will be no more trips to the grocery with this guy! UNLESS and ONLY IF he’s securely tethered to his leash. Yes, I said that word and I’m proud of it! His l-e-a-s-h. Actually, to be “PC” it’s a child harness, but to me, it’s a leash and I’ll make no apologies for the use of it with my son. It looks quite simply like a backpack and harnesses around him with a not-so-generous lead that brings this frustrated-to-the-max Momma great peace of mind and security. Now and again, I get some dirty looks from parents when they see my “little” tethered in this fashion. Under my breath, I’m thinking: “if you had a runner, you’d be using one of these beauties too…DON’T JUDGE!”

Back to the dreadful morning….

At the grocery, he wanted to ride in the cart and I was oh so happy to not have to force him into one as I usually have to do. The only issue was, he wanted in the one with the “car” in front of the cart. Bad engineering, in my opinion. I get the lure for children to the car; however, WHY does this particular store put it in front of the cart where you can barely see your child?! Other stores have ‘the lure’ in the traditional seat of the cart, right where your hands go to push the cart, or ‘buggy’ as I call it, after all, I am a southerner. I reluctantly ‘gave in’ to his plea because, quite simply, I didn’t want to fight with him over it. I just wanted to get in and get out of the store with our groceries before the torrential rains hit our area.

I gave my boy a good talking to before strapping him into this car attached to our buggy. I always feel like I’m trying to steer a semi-truck when attempting to push one of these things. Honestly, they’re quite difficult to steer, so much so that you have to get a running start to make a wide turn down a narrow aisle. Rant over. Fortunately, we made it through the entire shopping trip without any attempts at an escape. I was so proud of my “little”, I was beaming! After all, he’s a newbie to “3”, so I had high hopes he’d outgrown his famous escapes. I was oh, so wrong!

Heading out of the store, to our ‘bus,’ as he refers to our vehicle, I’m quickly inserting the key into my car door’s lock in an effort to put him safely inside the car while I load our groceries, as is our practice. Before I could get the key all the way into the door’s lock (remote works like a finicky woman), he makes his break from the buggy’s car! Panic began surging through my veins! Now, he’s loose in a busy parking lot! The more I try to lure him to me, the further he darts in the opposite direction. He thought it was a funny game while I’m on the verge of having a coronary. Can anyone else relate? I feel so alone sometimes in my parenting, or lack thereof.

As if God put someone right there to help me in my distraught state, a couple walked by, heading into the store, super close to my escape artist. In tune to my growing panic, they offered their help and I swiftly took advantage of their generous offer! With this couple’s assistance, I was able to corral my son and win him back to our “bus”. He was quickly reprimanded and threatened within an inch of his life to ever even THINK of repeating this in the future. No doubt, I had his attention. The leash was slapped around him and his belt held him tightly within his car seat while I pitched the groceries into the car.

Incidents happen so incredibly fast with our children, making parenting quite challenging at any given moment. I know for me, I’m fervently praying for wisdom as well as God’s angels to surround and protect my busy boy. As fellow Moms, let’s be aware of moments like this with other Mommas in our path and offer to lend a helping hand. Who knows, you may just be the answer to someone’s desperate prayer for help!