Tag Archives: choice

Chasing tails

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Ever feel like you’re chasing your tail? Please tell me I’m not the only one who does this! Seriously, I’ve been dropping balls lately and it really bothers me. It’s not like me to forget to do something or be somewhere on time (within 10 minutes anyway). Heck, I scheduled and managed schedules for a living in my ‘working girl’ life, for heavens’ sake! (Maybe I shouldn’t admit that!)

I’m a paper calendar kinda gal. I know, super old school but it all began in my ‘working girl’ life (before all our modern technology, mind you) that I tweaked and perfected what worked best for me. I quickly learned to keep meticulous notes should someone challenge me. Once the computer took the typewriters’ place, I kept my paper calendar. I still do. I find immense comfort knowing that I can easily amend details. However, writing is a different animal. I much prefer my laptop over the archaic pen and paper method. Go figure! Each to his own, I suppose.

I digress…

For whatever reason, this year has been a little more challenging between keeping mine, my husband’s, and now my son’s social calendar. Are you laughing at me?! The kid had four birthday parties within a couple short weeks, two of which were on the same day, yet different times. Get my drift? I lonnnnged for my paper calendar to edit and organize my thoughts. I tend to create check boxes: do I have a gift purchased-check, did I RSVP-check, did I purchase the pumpkin for the preK patch-check. Scary, I know, yet this is how my brain works!

Needless to say, I feel like my mind is on overdrive most days… always somewhere to be, something to take, pick up, purchase, hence the chasing of the proverbial tail. To be honest, I detest living this way. It wears me out, stresses me out, even causes me to be physically sick at times. Why do I do what I don’t want to do? This is the life we live, yet, we choose to live this way. I have one (1) child who recently turned five (5) and our schedules have quickly picked up. We limit our calendar of activities, yet tend to spin our wheels.

Hence my new morning read, Keep A Quiet Heart, Elisabeth Elliott. Within its pages, I’m reminded to sit at the feet of Jesus, take in His Word, fill my thoughts with His thoughts, and seek only to please Him. Boy! When I look at life through His lens, suddenly the hamster wheel starts to slow a bit. My focus turns to what really matters and what my priorities need to be in the present stage I’m in. I find myself desiring a more peaceful existence as the years roll on. Ultimately I find that my son just wants to spend time with me, his Daddy, as well as his extended family and friends. Making lasting memories by taking the time to sit down to play cars, allow our imaginations take over, let him help me around the house by folding clothes, running the vacuum, or setting the table fill his little love tank. Simplicity.

Since life is short and there aren’t any guarantees for what tomorrow holds, let’s strive to make the most of each day. Simply spending time together, listening, playing, relaxing without being a slave to the clock, is a recipe for a day of not taking life too seriously. Now, I need to take a dose of my own medicine!! Let’s go have some fun!

 

STOP…& Pray why don’t you

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Crossroads — I’ve been here more times than I can count.  You know, laboring over a decision yet chatting it up with well-meaning people, some of which are strangers, I find myself just as confused and tormented as I was when I started. I feel that I’ve gone nowhere and fast.

If your heart is beating, I’m quite sure you have lived here too. Why is it that we so badly want to obtain the opinion of everyone else on the planet, except for the One who created us? I mean really, how silly is that? Or, we exhaust all of our very limited resources before surrendering to the Lord? If you are a believer, you’re aware of the goal as Christ followers: surrender. Surrender myself, my plans, my thoughts, hopes and dreams to the One who can make sense of it all and more importantly, give us His best. After all, He is not a God of chaos.

Surrender: to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another; to yield to the power, control, or possession of

For most of my life, I’ve treated these such decisions I’ve described as if I’m walking a tightrope across the Grand Canyon. One wrong step and I’m suddenly doomed because I made the wrong choice, in my mind anyway. Where in the world did I subscribe to this crazy line of thinking? Enveloped in this crazy thought process of mine is a measure of fear. Fear of what God might be asking me to do. Fear that I can’t imagine how in the world little ‘ol me could possibly carry out this assignment. Fear that I might fail and expose my ignorance to the watching world. Fear of the unknown, probably trumps them all.

God is not like this at all. He is a good and loving Father who wants and desires to give His very best to those who are willing to wait on Him rather than rush ahead to their own plans and agenda. Sure, our “plans” may make total sense to us but it’s important to remember that we have a very limited view of our lives; so limited in fact that we can only see what’s in the here and now. Conversely, the Lord sees the whole picture with all the circumstances we’re unaware of. Our “best plans” fall severely short of His plans for us as Christ followers. But the kicker is, we have to be willing to wait….and pray, which is a foreign concept in the instant society we live in today. The world screams, “hurry up and grab it or you’ll miss out,” which places the focus on self, while God’s economy challenges us to be patient, to wait on Him, to trust and obey, to pray and seek His wisdom. Sometimes, the most active thing we can do is pray and, His timing is not ours.

That being said, lately, I have felt quite convicted of just what I’ve written…talking to everyone else but God yet expecting His answer. I’m ashamed to say I haven’t prayed like I should be. I haven’t surrendered my desires, my will, my plan in order to hear from Him. I have allowed fear to place me in bondage. Interestingly enough, when I pray for others in my life facing similar life decisions is “Lord, will You deafen (name of friend I’m praying for) ears to all voices but Yours. Will you enable (him or her) to be able to discern Your voice from others clamoring for (his/her) attention. Will You speak boldly into (his/her) life that there is no doubt as to which path is theirs to take.” 

Sure, God speaks to us through His Word, His Holy Spirit, and even others. The point is to have a trusted few who are faithful followers in Christ, who will pray for you and point you back to Him. We cannot hear from God when we’re super busy and running hither and yon, consulting with everyone we know. Oftentimes, God’s path isn’t the most popular path and doesn’t always make sense to others. As I’ve been reminded time and again by my trusted (few) friends: God doesn’t call the equipped; He equips the called.

My challenge to you, as well as to me, is to stop the madness. Stop the busyness. Still yourself before Him. Rather, get on your knees in humility, cry out to God surrendering the plans you have and yielding your spirit to His plans. Be still. Wait for Him. Don’t allow yourself to feel rushed to make a decision right this very minute. Sometimes, prayer can be the most active thing you can do. Press into Him through prayer, and the reading of His Word. Trust that He has it all worked out…in His timing, not ours. And don’t forget that His ways are higher and He see the full picture.

I’ll close with a friend’s recent facebook post: “I still remember the days I prayed for the things I have now.” He is faithful! Amen!