Category Archives: March 2017

Pearls of wisdom

Standard
Pearls of wisdom

Before I was a SAHM, I would listen to Christian talk radio during my commute to and from work, and occasionally when I’d leave the office for my lunch break. I cherished this time alone, in my car, gleaning so much wisdom from teachers I enjoy, and respect because they teach sound doctrine from God’s Word. Now that I’m home, I truly thought I’d be able to take advantage of this teaching via radio even more. I don’t know what I was thinking; it’s not been the case.

This morning, however, as I was leaving my son’s school, I turned on Moody radio, which is my favorite Christian broadcast network. Not being familiar with the programming guide, I wasn’t sure who I might be listening to. I was happy when I recognized the voice of Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, formerly Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Her radio program, Revive Our Hearts, has been a lifeline to me on many occasions. Today was no exception. She, along with her guests, were talking about the ministry of motherhood. Think about that with me: the ministry of motherhood.

One of Nancy’s guests said she receives letters from many young Moms saying, “God has really put it on my heart to write books, to teach, to have a ministry.” Her reply, “What you are doing as a wife, as a mom—what I’m doing pales in significance, except that it’s what God has called me to do. But in terms of impact and longevity and multiple generations and the kingdom of God being furthered, as you love your husband, as you love and train your children, as you train younger women, you are furthering the kingdom of God. She goes on to say “I think sometimes we want “ministry,” but we forget that we already have ministry. If God has given us children, if God has given us a husband, we have built-in ministry already. Those things are not an obstacle to me doing ministry. They are my ministry. That has to be my first ministry. If I can love my husband successfully according to God’s Word, if I can love my children and nurture them in the admonition of the Lord as Scripture says, then I believe God will bring ministry out of the platform of the diligence that I’ve given to those primary areas God has already called me to.”

Whoa! I have to tell you, this conversation really whet my appetite for more. How many times have I myself questioned “am I doing all I can?” or “is there not more for me?” I have heard Moms talking to each other complaining that there is much more to life than being a Mom; I need something for myself, something to call my own. It may seem like your desires for a career, even your hard-earned rather expensive degree is taking a backseat to the season you’re in as a Mother. Motherhood is a gift, a calling. Sometimes when we’re in the thick of it, it’s easy to forget that. Believe me, I need reminding often myself!

It (motherhood) takes sacrifice. It takes diligence. It takes that self-control that we’ve been talking about. It cannot come from inside us. It has to come from God living out His life in and through us. The tool He uses especially in my life happens to be motherhood. Motherhood actually becomes one of the tools God uses to shape and mold me; as one author said, “to chisel me for eternity.” So if we recognize that motherhood is part of God’s process . . . it’s not an obstacle to God’s process in my life; it is God’s process in my life. It’s that sanctifying, making you into the image of Christ. Again, that’s as we embrace whatever the calling is in the role God has for our lives; there’s purpose to that, and it is through that that we are sanctified.

The interview continued, “We do have to be very, very intentional about getting time to hear God even in the midst of all the stuff that’s going on in our life. It’s hard sometimes. It takes a lot of intentional focus for that to happen. I think that’s probably the most important aspect of mothering, is that our children see and recognize how important the Word is to their mom—that we’re in the Word, that we’re praying for them. They recognize that. They see it. It’s foundational. And hopefully, that gives them a desire to put that as a priority in their own lives.”

What this radio show taught me today is that my calling is ultimately to be a wife and a mom. That doesn’t translate as “I’m only a wife” or “I’m just a mom”. Marriage and parenting are two of the highest callings in God’s economy. To heed this calling is a huge undertaking and will keep us plenty busy. Caring for the home, or managing the household, is a machine. Organizational skills, communication skills, leadership are all required for this job description. It is not for the faint of heart. I feel like there is always a heap to be done around the house. Laundry, errands, groceries, cooking, cleaning, making meals, etc., etc. is no small task. In fact, when littles are around, It can be a real challenge to accomplish even the most minute of details. It’s okay. Patterning and modeling these roles to our children of what a godly Mom and wife look like is time consuming and it’s not a race, rather a marathon. After all, our children are on loan to us from God. We have them for such a short time and our role is to groom them into responsible young adults to live on their own one day. That’s a challenge, folks!

Mothering is like ditch digging. As mothers we can do nothing to persuade or convince our children to love God. We can dig the ditches, but we can’t fill them. We can teach our children about God, pray for them, live the Christian life before them, and expose them to others who love and serve God. But only God can give them spiritual life. God doesn’t need our help, but in His sovereign plan He invites us to take part actively, to co-labor with Him as He works in their lives.

No, No, NO!

Standard
No, No, NO!

There is this book, “No, David!” that my Mother-in-law has at her house. Every time we visit, this book is well-read. My son absolutely loves it! He thinks it’s so funny that this boy, David, is always getting in trouble for doing naughty things and ultimately being disobedient to his Momma. I have to admit, it is a humorous book!

What intrigues me is that this book could really have my son’s name in the title because “NO!” is the word he hears most often. You would think my child would be so sick of hearing “NO!” that he’d flatly refuse to be read such a book, entertaining or not.

The thing is, this little 2-letter packs a lot of punch. “NO!” is negative and after awhile, in my opinion, kids tune this little word out. They simply don’t hear it. Now, let me tell you, I’ve used the “NO!” word plenty of times in every which way you can imagine, I’ve shouted it. I have learned that positive attention yields a much better response.

I’m sure by now you’re thinking I’ve lost my mind. Try it, though, you might surprise yourself at how well it works. Rather than only looking for the bad and abruptly shouting “NO!” try looking for the positive things throughout the day that your child is doing. I believe you will find, as I have, that words such as “good job!”, “well done!”, “you look so nice!” will take you much farther than uttering an angry “NO!”

“Kind words are like honey—they cheer you up and make you feel strong.”                  (Proverbs 16:24, CEV)

I might just throw in the towel!

Standard

Oh dear me!

There aren’t sufficient emoticons to convey how I’m feeling today. Suffice it to say that this day takes me back to when I was a working woman (outside the house, that is!) and it took everything within me to not turn in my resignation. Yeah, it was that bad.

Problem is, when you’re a Mom, you can’t just ‘throw in the towel’ much less resign. It’s just not an option. Not unless your new fashion statement is a striped jumpsuit!

All kidding aside, today’s naughtiness ranks at the top of the list, if not garnering first place. Thankfully, up until now anyway, I’ve been able to keep my emotions in check and my voice way below the shouting level. I have to give credit where credit is due, mind you. All the credit for my temper in check goes to the Lord. Honestly.

The naughty streak all began after a morning of fun, even educational games. It was just the two of us playing make believe, watching a couple of his fave TV learning programs, snacks and then…..

  • pump hairspray poured down the commode
  • blue crayon (thankfully it was washable!) drawn all over my dining and kitchen walls
  • chairs from kitchen and dining room moved in such a way to barricade me from coming in the kitchen
  • my kitchen looks like it was hit by an F4 tornado
  • a concoction of dish soap, and a brand new unopened bottle of bath soap with water was poured all over my kitchen table & floor. Oh, and did I mention a little honey?!

Shall I continue? Oh mercy, just re-living this rampage through writing has caused the anger to swell up inside. Amazingly I have remained calm (the Lord’s work). Whenever I start screaming, the behavior only gets worse, if you can believe that. Although I want to throw up my hands and ball up on the floor, crying it out, I know that isn’t the solution. I’m trying to behave as an adult rather than throw a temper tantrum.

Days like today (praise God they are few and far between!) can only be dealt with in much prayer. I’m not saying discipline isn’t in order. It most certainly is and has already been administered, at least half of it (I left the path of destruction for my hubby to find when he comes home), so a second round of discipline will most definitely take place. Ultimately though, I need the Ultimate Father to grant me His wisdom. You might say I’ve pretty well reached the end of myself. I need divine intervention at this point.

It’s days like this that I am thankful for God’s grace, for a new morning and a new chance to make things right. Thankful for prayer where I can pour my heart out to the One who can transform my heart, and that of my child. Thankful that He grants wisdom to those who ask for it. Grateful for life and the gift of a new day!

 

 

 

 

the struggle is real, folks!

Standard

I’ve written previously about my son’s issue with the “big boy potty”. Well, the saga continues….

Pardon me while I vent just a moment. Can I just tell you how disgusted I am by the whole episode? Changing a baby’s diaper is one thing, no matter how bad the blowout might be. However, changing the underpants of a four and a half year old is wearing. me. out. in every way. Just last week, we had no less than 5 pair, if not more, underpants in a bucket outside to be rinsed out so they could make it to the washing machine. Needless to say, keeping up with the laundry is a part-time job.

Okay…stepping off my soapbox now. Be thankful that I “cleaned it up” for you as my emotions tend to run high during such episodes.

Just this past Sunday evening and Monday morning we had a huge party at my house celebrating “the dispatchment” placed in the potty. There were high fives, gifts, snuggles, clapping and hooray-ing!!! Lots of positive affirmation for a job well done. We were so happy and just knew this was the end of our dilemma. May I just tell you that by Tuesday morning, all successes were flushed down the potty. What, you ask? Yep, the potty-in-the-pants started up on Tuesday morning just prior to leaving the house for school. We were so disappointed. Well, accidents do happen, so grace was extended. But, hold the phone! It happened yet again Wednesday morning just as I was finishing my breakfast. Utterly disgusted, he was cleaned up and re-directed to do it in the potty next time.

Why am I sharing this? I heard recently from a behavior management class we’ve been taking since October, that this potty-in-the-pants habit is quite common for boys of this same age. I was shocked! I truly felt as if we were one-in-zillion with this problem. Granted, I’m well aware that our issues could be much, much worse BUT ya’ll it is so disgusting that I can hardly take it anymore.

We’ve read (& watched!) potty books & videos more times than I can count. We’ve rewarded with stickers, toys, candy, treats & the winner-take-all prize: Chuck E Cheese. You would think the boy would be running to the potty to collect on his winnings….WRONG! Both positive affirmation and negative/punishment have been doled out. Taking away toys, tv time, parties, & play dates have yielded nothing. We’ve read parenting book after parenting book on the strong-willed child with no change of behavior.

I would love to hear from you if you’re in a similar battle with your boy or girl. I’m certainly not above trying something new. Let me hear from  you!!!