Well, I’m laughing as I’m typing this because in my mind, I’m picturing some ‘slap stick’ comedy act portraying my life, (and yours, I’m sure) at times! Isn’t it so true, though? We all, no matter who we are or what it is we do for our vocation, we need a break. Rest. Respite. Rejuvenation. Time Out.
Is it accurate to say that someone who needs a break is lazy? This has been my current dilemma. Yes, these thoughts really do roll around in my head. I’m not sure why. Perhaps it is because I’m a huge people-pleaser and riddled with anxiety, because as I’ve read, “anxiety is when you care too much“. Guilty as charged. That is me. Honestly, I wish I didn’t care so much. Care about what others think, care about if what I’m doing is enough, care too much about other people period. I wish at times I could press a ‘pause’ button or an ‘on vacation’ button like I’m “out of the office” for an extended holiday.
Since I tend to care too much, even though I’ve been given the freedom to “take a break,” oftentimes I don’t accept the “life preserver” that is thrown my way. Why? I tend to feel guilty. I let the guilt creep in and eat me up and I listen to that never-ending voice of deception whispering in my other ear “you can’t leave; they need you.” All the while, I know good and well that I will be a better Momma if and when I take that break. I have since learned this is a form of pride. Ouch! Thinking you are the only one who can do such and such or thus and so. Yep, I’ve been guilty of such feelings.
Tonight was “one of those nights” when I heeded the call. I broke free and it felt great! No, I didn’t go out on the town or anything like that. I simply went to the grocery store, but it. felt. great! I could quietly peruse the aisles, think complete thoughts, read my list, and still manage to bump into a friend for a bit of a chat! It was therapeutic. In some strange way, it was as good a balm for my soul as getting a massage or pedicure. Truly! See, I don’t give myself permission to get out that often. It’s sad, but true. It’s my own fault. My husband encourages me to go because he knows I need a break.
Self-care is important to everyone, but especially to a Mom who is always giving of herself. Without replenishing, you will feel used up. How can anyone function properly when they are used up? Now, I was warned about this “pre-marriage” and again “pre-child,” yet, I still haven’t learned my lesson! I aim to do a better job of this because I realize how much better I am when I get away and take some time to myself.
I would love to hear how you, my readers, manage this. Do you beat yourself up for taking a break? Or, are you able to grab a few minutes here and there to refuel yourself by reading a book, cooking, outing by yourself, coffee with a friend, or like me, getting away for an hour at the local grocery? HA!