Yep. It was today. Actually, I’ve had several bad ones lately, but this one verged on tipping the scale. Do you ever have a particularly hard day with your little(s)? Please say that you do….I desperately don’t want to be on an island by myself on this one!
I’ve got an soon-to-be three year old son. He is precious. I love him desperately. He was long prayed for. However, as I’ve been warned, the 3’s are harder than the 2’s. I’m beginning to fear that warning may just be my reality. I won’t even get into all the chaos of today with him because I’m truly just now coming out of the emotional anguish of it all. Short and simple: he can wear me out like no other. Yes, he’s full of energy like I’ve never seen before in my life but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the bad behavior he chooses and the way he knows just how to push this Momma’s buttons. He can be so naughty. You’re probably giving me one of those knowing laughs right about now. I can feel it through this screen between the two of us. That’s why I’m choosing to stop describing his behavior. I have learned a great truth upon becoming a Momma: you cannot judge another Mom unless you’ve walked in her shoes. There, I said it.
I have had an epiphany just this week. It’s something I’ve already known, deep down, but just recently I’ve come to see the light like never before. Want to know what this great revelation is? WAIT FOR IT…… This is not my season; it’s not about me. For a short blink of an eye, I’ve been entrusted to love, raise and discipline my child; called to it I believe. For now, my ‘career’ is raising him the best I can, most certainly with the Lord’s help (I have a whole new respect for single Moms or Moms who’s husbands’ travel for a living. My hat goes off to you again and again!).
I’ve struggled with wanting to bring in extra money to our family budget through babysitting, having a jewelry business, and countless other online searches including, but not limited to, online surveys that pay. I have tried to maintain some type of active leadership roles within my church or small groups or what have you. I finally heard the Lord whisper in my ear loud and clear: “not now“. I’ve been grieving it because I so desire to contribute in some way. After all, I was a working woman for over half my life. I don’t know how else to live, really. Guess what? My “contribution” is raising a person. That is huge! It is no small task to raise a person.
So, with that, I will choose to focus on raising my son and turn a blind eye to other things, good things actually, that are vying for my attention. It’s not my season. That’s it, short and simple. One day, it will be my season again. At that time, I pray that I will be ready to embrace it because I know I’ll be heartbroken that my son won’t need me anymore. For now, I think I’m going to dip into the good book of Ecclesiastes which is full of wisdom on the seasons of life. Won’t you join me?
There’s a Right Time for Everything
3 There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
2-8 A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.
9-13 But in the end, does it really make a difference what anyone does? I’ve had a good look at what God has given us to do—busywork, mostly. True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time—but he’s left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he’s coming or going. I’ve decided that there’s nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That’s it—eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It’s God’s gift.
14 I’ve also concluded that whatever God does, that’s the way it’s going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God’s done it and that’s it. That’s so we’ll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear.
15 Whatever was, is.
Whatever will be, is.
That’s how it always is with God.
(from The Message).